Hey everyone, good news: a short film I wrote and directed called “Taste in Powder” was recently accepted into the Austin Film Festival and will be screening towards the end of this month.  It features a handful of very funny Austin comics (Andy Ritchie, Ruby Collins, Kerri Lendo, Jimmie Roulette, David James, Seth Cockfield, Bob Khosravi, Bryan Gutmann, Amber Bixby, Jake Flores) giving very funny performances and I’m quite pleased with how it came out.  Much credit is due to cameraman/editor Dave Ward for the final product.

It will be screening as part of “Shorts 1″ at the Festival, which has two screening times: Thursday, Oct 21 at the Hideout Theater downtown, and Saturday, Oct 23 at the Alamo Drafthouse Lake Creek.  These showings also have the short films “Make a Wish”, by the aforementioned Dave Ward, and “I Love You Will Smith” by local auteur Bradley Jackson (and stars expatriate John Ramsey and myself).  If you are in the Austin area and are interested in attending either of these screenings, please go here for more info.

Eventually I hope to find an online home for the film, maybe on Atom Films or something cool like that, but if not, it will be on YouTube like everything else that has occurred in the history of man.  More on that as things develop…

This will be fun. My buddy Henry Phillips — musical comedian extraordinaire — and I are barnstorming across the midwest this Friday and Saturday doing two close-to-sold-out (so far) shows.

We’ll be on Bob & Tom on Friday morning to promote the shows, sometime in the 8 0′clock hour, so be sure to check that out.  If you happen to live in Austin, like I do, you can hear them on their new affiliate 98.9 FM.

Then we’re off to Bay City, MI, north of Saginaw, to the lovely and historic State Theater.  Henry and I will be co-headlining. If you live in the area, click on the link above for tickets.

Then Saturday we’re doing the same thing at Mulligan’s in beautiful uptown Terre Haute, IN.  I performed at their flagship comedy night last summer and it was a rousing success, so I expect no less of a hootenany this time.  Also on the line-up are Indianapolis comic Kevin Ruble and 105.5 radio personality Ed Zeppelin. That’s his real name.

So come on out.  We’ll bring the jokes, songs, impressions and CDs for sale. You bring the pre-purchased tickets and mediocre expectations.

Let’s hope the weather holds out.

On August 17th and 18th I had a series of brutal voice-over sessions where I was required to speak fluent Spanish.  This proved troublesome for me, considering that I have no background in Spanish whatsoever.  But between the language coach and an average of eighty-seven takes per word I managed to stumble through it.  I went back home after the last session and, thinking that the next few days were mine to prepare for my next road date, fixed myself a sandwich and started wasting time on the internet like only I can.

I was only halfway through the sandwich and even less of the way through the

Wikipedia entry for “Jethro Tull (band)” — redirected from “Jethro Tull (agriculturalist)” — when my phone rang.  It was my manager.  I rarely get phone calls from my manager.  He is usually very busy dealing with his stable of wealthy, successful clients.  In fact, if my manager somehow knew about a terrorist plot to blow up my house with me in it, I would estimate that there is about a 25% chance that he would get around to calling me to warn me before it happened.  So  I figured this was important.

It was.  Turns out that Saturday Night Live finally got around to looking at the materials he had sent them on my behalf and they wanted me to audition.  This was good news.  The bad news was that my audition was on Thursday — and this was Tuesday.  Sandwich down.

Thus immediately began a mad scramble to change my preexisting travel plans for the week, coordinate new travel plans with NBC, and — most importantly — figure out what the hell I was going to actually do for the audition.  I had been submitted for this a while back and we hadn’t heard anything, so I had sort of given up on it by this point.  Luckily, I was going straight to the ‘final’ audition and I knew they were looking at me specifically for impressions, so I didn’t have to worry about any ‘original characters’ that they usually request from auditioners.  I guess I’ll just have to save “Irrationally Afraid of Bologna Guy” for YouTube.

Early the next morning I flew to NYC and got to the midtown hotel where they were putting me up.  There I continued the process of reworking parts of my act, writing new bits, and cobbling them all into audition form.  My manager got there in the afternoon, and that evening we trucked around Manhattan going to various comedy clubs so I could work on snippets of the audition on stage.  I would have preferred to just work on it alone in the room, but he was insistent, and it probably didn’t hurt.  I got to go up at Caroline’s and, even cooler, the Comedy Cellar.  It is extremely difficult to get a set there if they don’t know you.  But paradoxically, the very reason I got to go up hog-tied me into doing a set that I never would have wanted to do at the Cellar.  An audition isn’t a stand-up set and vice-versa.

My audition wasn’t until the afternoon, so I got to sleep in a little bit before I had to begin incessantly rehearsing my bullshit in my hotel room.  My manager came by one last time and we went through my audition set together. We had had some disagreements about who exactly I was going to do impressions of (I was given seven minutes, by the way) but we got all that hammered out and eventually we were ready to go.  We walked over to 30 Rockefeller Plaza, I got my little badge thingy, he bid me adieu and I went up to the eighth floor all pumped and ready to bring my shitstorm of mediocrity to the suits.

Long story short, I paced in a dressing room for an hour or so and then I did the audition and I was happy with how it went.  I was on the actual Studio 8H stage (where the SNL host comes out) playing to a camera, and Lorne Michaels and other producers and writers were off to the side taking notes.  Some of them actually laughed, which was nice.  You are told not to necessarily expect that.

Obviously I didn’t get hired, nor did any of the other dozen or so males who were auditioning that day.  They hired two chicks this season, one of whom has already said “fuck” live on air.  But whether or not I am considered again in the future, this was definitely a long-term career goal that I can scratch off the to-do list.  It was pretty mind-blowing to go through the whole process and experience, especially considering how little time I had to prepare.  This business is nothing but running your act up the flagpole and seeing who salutes it.  It was reaffirming to be able to do that at this level.

And if nothing else, I got to hang out with my comedy buddies Paul Oddo,

A while back.

Jason Kanter, and Sarah Tollemache in NYC that night before I flew out the next day.  I got half price on a chicken dinner at the bar where Jason works.  Very worthwhile.

After I returned from London I had a little time off to prepare for my next venture out on to the road.  I had managed to book four consecutive weeks  together in the midwest in June and July.  Lately I’ve been flying to most of my weeks, but the proximity of all these clubs in such a short time span

R.I.P. The Maroon Dragoon 1994-2008

rendered that option unworkable.  So that meant a month-long road trip, much like the kind I used to do all the time back when I was featuring.  Most of those miles were put on my old 1994 Geo Prism, which I traded in last year with 271,000 on the odometer. Now it was time to hit the road old school yet again, but this time with the Silver Machine.

Right before I headed out, I got invited to perform at the Montreal “Just for Laughs” Festival.  For those of you who might not know, this is a pretty big affair in the stand-up world.  Once a year, the biggest (and smallest, and many in between) names in comedy –  along with agents, managers, producers, and talent coordinators from all over the industry — converge in Montreal to do shows, hobnob, shmooze, and get discovered. I’d been auditioning for their “New Faces of Comedy Show” since November of 2000 and had just about given up on ever going.  But it turned out that 2009 was my year — although they agreed that I was hardly a ‘new face’ anymore and subsequently had to put me on a different showcase.

Luckily, I had four weeks of club work ahead of me in which to work out my set.

My first stop was St. Louis.  My home town, and one of my favorite clubs: the Westport Funny Bone.  This was my first time headlining my home club, so that was a bit of a watershed week for me. And it ain’t the easiest club to headline, especially some of those late shows.  I think I made it out all right.

Then up to the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton, Wisconsin.  Great club run by great people.  I was working with my buddy Ryan Singer who managed to get us locked out of the condo at midnight, and both of us sans shoes, wallets, keys, or cell phones.  At least it was summer.

After that I had a few days off and was able to spend the 4th of July in Chicago with some friends and then drove up to Michigan to see my folks for a few days.  This was a relaxing break before doing “Bob & Tom” on Wednesday morning at 6:30 am.  We comics keep forgetting that this is now also a TV show on WGN America, so we still show up sporting baseball hats and tired, mopey expressions which radio doesn’t usually convey.  It makes me laugh to see the show sometimes for that very reason.  Some clips of my appearance made it on YouTube.

After a stop-off in Terre Haute, I did my first week at the Bloomington,

Brad to the Bone

Indiana Funny Bone.  Bear’s Place was once the premiere comedy spot in that metropolis, but the new Bone, run by two avid comedy fans, seems to have taken over that honor. Exhibit A: the defection of Brad Wilhelm, Bears’ erstwhile jolly emcee, to the Bone side.

My last week was at the Louisville Improv with Greg Hahn, whom half of the audience seemed to think was Greg Warren before they saw the show (both are big on “B&T”, but their acts are nothing alike). And some of them still might have thought so even after seeing the show. Such is the anonymity of syndicated radio fame.

I left Louisville Sunday night, got back to Austin Monday night, and had two days to prepare for Montreal before my flight early Thursday morning.  And by “prepare”, I mean buy a new blazer and doubt myself and my abilities.

To avoid blog redundancy, here is a link to the Montreal rundown I wrote for Last Gas Comedy, a great website that deals primarily, but not exclusively, with the Austin comic arts scene.

But suffice it to say that I was placed on the “Masters Showcase“, a title that I (and others) found rather discomfiting.  Also on this show were Christian Finnegan and Kevin Brennan, both of whom I’ve known for awhile, and some other comics who were wondering who the hell I was and what I was doing there.  The Masters shows were actually a lot of fun, and at about 9:30 on Saturday morning I got a phone call in my hotel room and was informed that I was added to that evening’s “Gala” show. This is actually a pretty big honor.  I’ve done t.v. tapings before, but this was the first time that I found out about it the morning of.  Glad I brought a suit.

The show, hosted by Martin Short, went well and will air on the CBC. Hopefully I’ll eventually be able to get a clip of my performance and post it up here.  Also at Montreal this year were my buddies from Austin, Andy Ritchie and Eric Krug, who were on the “New Faces” showcase.  On the left is a picture of Andy and me at some god-awful dance club for some after-party thing.

Overall it was a great experience, and although nothing direct or immediate has come of it yet (I already have management, and they don’t quite sling the development deals the way they used to), I’ve learned over the years that seeds get sown and the big pay-offs can come further down the road. At least that’s how I’m looking at it.

After I had been home for a few days I got contacted by my manager and was informed that an old project that I had been a part of a few months before had resurfaced.  Unfortunately, I’m not at liberty to say anything about it right now, but eventually I’ll be able to — and I’m glad, because its an amusing story in an of itself.

But I can say it involved a free trip to California and a visit to Pixar Studios.  At least I think I can.

You should see the desk...

If not, oh well. I doubt that they read this.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while.

Not that I haven’t been busy; in fact, this has been the most eventful summer of my career in many ways.  I’m going to try and chronicle everything that happened in a three-part blog series.  I know, I know: I can’t wait either.

Lounging backstage.

The summer started out with me going up to do shows in Wisconsin as part of the “Bob & Tom Comedy All-Stars” theater tour with Kristi Lee, Tim Wilson, Costaki Economopoulos, Tim Bedore, Donnie Baker and Jimmy Pardo.

Checking my notes for no reason right before my set.

These shows are always a blast, and on this particular weekend I was recording the shows (thanks to Costaki for letting me use his camera) as per my management’s instruction in order to submit to Comedy Central for a thirty minute special.  They should be deciding on that soon…

Those were my last shows before my wedding in May. For our honeymoon we went to a “Sandals” resort in Antigua. My sister-in-law thinks that “Sandals” is ironically bad because of “The Office”, but at 65% off, I found it quite un-ironically affordable.

Not natural.

Granted, the calypso-music-infused pre-packaged atmosphere was a bit much to take, but nothing that the beach and endless, free alcohol couldn’t cure. One highlight was a visit to “Stingray City”, which — despite sounding like the most bizarre installment of  “Grand Theft Auto” — is actually a cordoned off area of a coral reef where semi-domesticated stingrays swim up and let humans pet and feed them.  Watching the Antiguan guides kiss their stingers to show how harmless they are was especially unsettling.

Right after I got home, I got the chance to go to London to be a guest of the MCM Expo 2009, which is like the U.K.’s version of ComicCon.  It hasn’t quite reached ComicCon scope yet, but it was still a pretty massive event that took place at the Excel Center in the Docklands. I was there not as a stand-up comic, but rather as a Voice-Over Actor for anime, something I did quite a bit of in a past life.  Some of the titles I did back in the day are apparently quite popular among anime fans in Great Britain, so the organizers of the event saw fit to fly me out and put me on their celebrity roster along with Tony Curtis,

At the London Novotel with Neil Grayston of "Eureka"

Linda Hamilton, Lindsay Wagner, the cast of “Merlin”, and Joe Morton and Neil Grayston from “Eureka”.  All I had to do was sign stuff for fans and do a Q&A about doing VO for anime — pretty easy, but a little nerve-wracking at times because I remember little or nothing about the plots or characters from these things. And you can’t really tell them that.  Here is a video of my speech.

And then I was also asked to judge the “cosplay”.  Simply put, this is when young fans dress up like their favorite anime or fantasy characters and have themselves a bit of a fashion show.  However, words don’t really do it justice. Here is a video of what I “judged” like a stupefied Simon Cowell. I’m sitting at the front of the runway and at one point almost got stabbed in the eye with a homemade scimitar.

Wow. Careful what you do voices for.

Anyways, I had a little extra time to do some sightseeing in London on my own. I managed to catch the Tower, Big Ben, Parliament, Westminster Abbey, the remains of Whitehall, Jongleurs Comedy Club in Camden, London Bridge, and few other things before I left.

More to come.

Thanks to Jessica Hooker from “The Bob & Tom Show” and Ian Mullen of visiteureka.net for photos.

Happy 2009, everyone.  Hope this finds you well. The first few months of the year will find me very busy personally and professionally.  I’ve got a number of new dates on the calendar, including some “Bob & Tom All-Star” shows this spring.  Those are always a blast.  In fact,  a bunch of us just did a crazy New Year’s Eve show in downtown Grand Rapids.  Good times.

Also this spring will be my first headlining week at the St. Louis Funny Bone at Westport.  I had one scheduled last May, but had to cancel when I got invited to be on ‘Frank TV’.  St. Louis is my hometown, so its great to get to go back as a headliner after all these years.  It will be a fun week, except for third show Saturday. I mean let’s be honest, right Behrens?  That’s gonna suck.  I doubt that Matt Behrens from the Funny Bone reads this.  Does any one read this? Probably not. BUT, I have to update it every now and again just so it seems like someone’s minding the store.

I’ve been on a fun (and convenient) Texas run of late — a few weeks ago I worked the Dallas Improv.  I headlined some nights and the others I opened for Craig Robinson from “The Office”, who could not have been a nicer dude.  And that club has one of the best office/bar/wait staffs in the country.  Next week I’m at the Cap City in Austin with my old buddy Paul Oddo opening for me, and then next month I’m headlining my old home club, the Houston Laff Stop, where I started stand-up ten years ago this year.  I’ll be sure to blog about that when the time comes.

Oh and by the way, I’m well aware of the overly positive tone of this journal; everything’s “great” and “fun” and “flap-jackety delicious!”.  Its not that I’m lying or anything, I just save all my less professional snarky and negative thoughts for the myspace blog.

Until next time,

MACRAAAAEEE!